Turning life around: A journey of hope & growth at Dudley Lodge

22 November 2024

​When I first heard about Dudley Lodge, I had no idea how much it would change my life. Struggling with anxiety and depression, I was stuck in a cycle feeling like I had no future. Parenting my son felt a challenge I didn’t know how to face, but Dudley Lodge turned out to be a lifeline.

Before Dudley Lodge

Before coming to Dudley Lodge, I had depression and anxiety, and I hardly ever left my room. Having autism made parenting feel too much to handle.

Living in a city full of bad memories and difficult circumstances, I knew I needed a change. When the opportunity to stay at Dudley Lodge arose, I said yes immediately.

I'm from a different city entirely, so I was nervous at first going somewhere completely new and I’d read some scary reviews online. The staff were so kind from the moment I arrived, and it was quickly clear that Dudley Lodge was different. It was a chance to be somewhere different and doing different things, and being away from my existing situation stopped the panic attacks I was having.

Learning to Be a Parent

When I arrived, I didn’t know much about parenting. My son had no routines for eating or sleeping, and I didn’t know how to create one. The staff at Dudley Lodge taught me how to be independent and taught me all the different parenting things that I didn't know, from starting a daily routine to managing bath time, bedtime, and even outdoor play. If there was something I didn’t know how to do, they’d just show me how to do it - so I loved it!

They also helped me manage practical things like cooking and learning how to manage my money, and it feels much easier now. I went from feeling overwhelmed to feeling empowered. I think people must be lucky to get in here and it’s only once in a lifetime that you're going to get a chance like this.

Special Moments with My Son

One of my favourite memories from my time at Dudley Lodge was our trip to the Sea Life Centre. It was my son’s and my first trip ever on a train and he loved every minute of it – especially seeing the giant turtle in the underwater tunnel. I was nervous about the tunnel holding up, but seeing his excitement made it all worthwhile. We also visited a farm and he was thrilled to see the pigs, horses, and llamas. It was a moment I’ll never forget – his joy was infectious.

A New Life After Dudley Lodge

Since leaving Dudley Lodge, my life has completely changed. I made the decision to stay in Coventry and felt relieved we were far from what we left behind. Where we lived growing up there was a lot of bullying, gangs and stuff and it was really difficult there and we struggled a lot. It wasn’t an easy choice to leave family and friends but it was the right one for me and my son, I’d go back see them, but I want a fresh, new start.

We’ve faced challenges and still are, like finding housing and adjusting to life in a new city, but I’ve stayed focused on building a better future. We hardly hear from my son’s social worker at all as he's from our old city, so the support we get from Hurdle now we’ve left Dudley Lodge is so important. They help me with everything, they take us to places and check in on us – it makes me much happier and makes it feel like I’m getting somewhere - they’ve all been brilliant.

We come back to see everyone at the centre a lot and it’s really great to see everyone – my son loves coming here and he’s really popular. His favourite thing is cars and every time we come, he always wants to play on the ride on cars in the garden.

I’m still using the skills I learned at Dudley Lodge every day. My son and I have established a good routine, and I’ve gained confidence that I’m able to be the parent he deserves.

A Strong Bond

The bond between me and my son has grown stronger than ever. He’s my reason for everything – the reason I push forward even when things get tough. He’s so kind-hearted, polite and a quick learner and he’ll copy people – he even learnt how to open the child safety gate from watching one of the workers!

Watching him grow and thrive has been the biggest reward of all.

Looking Forward

Looking ahead, I have hope. I’m determined to give my son a stable, happy life. I want to find permanent housing and eventually a job so I can provide for him in every way possible.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that accepting help can be life-changing. Dudley Lodge and then Hurdle gave me the tools I needed to succeed, but it was up to me to listen and put them into practice. I tend to think that I can't do things but then when I try it, I find I can actually do it. That's why I did well, I was encouraged and I listened and we got the best advice possible, that's what changed.

My advice to others in similar situations is to trust the process, stay focused, and believe in yourself. Do it for yourself and do it for your child and just think of how good your life is going to be and how it will change your life. Don't worry about whatever everyone else is doing, just keep in mind what the staff show you and then they'll make you a better person.

I’ll always be grateful to Dudley Lodge. They didn’t just teach me how to be a parent – they gave me a reason to believe in the future. My son and I are thriving now, and it’s all thanks to the support and kindness we received there.

This place gave me hope, and my son gave me the strength to change. Now, there’s only one way to go – and that’s up.