Parent Experiences
We always aim to keep families together when that’s right for the child. So we really love hearing from people who’ve had a positive assessment with us. This page shares real experiences from parents who’ve been through an assessment with us. Click the pictures below to read their stories.
I came to Bonner house for an assessment because of my past. My last two children were removed from my care so this was my only chance of being able to go home with my new baby and prove that I could be a good mum. I was scared about going to stay there at first and thought that it would feel like a prison but it really was not that bad at all. The staff were nice when I arrived and helped me to carry all my bags, I had a lot.
I ended up enjoying my time being assessed and attended lots of courses that helped me to understand how to become a better parent. I learnt a lot from the freedom project and how domestic violence affects children. There was also time to attend stay and play sessions with my baby and this was always good fun and different every week. I feel that I am a much better parent now and this is because of the time that I spent at Bonner house, I was always able to ask staff when I was unsure of things and this has helped me to gain confidence in how to be a mum. I now concentrate on my baby and am not influenced by other like I used to be.
Without Bonner house my baby would have been taken away from me and I would not have had the opportunity to be a mum.
If I had to give advice to a parent about to have an assessment I would tell them to concentrate on their baby and not other residents. Remember going home with your baby is all that matters. Also ask staff if you need help they will help and support you.
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We were asked to come to Bonner House a few weeks before I was due to give birth, due to domestic abuse in our relationship. Although we knew our relationship was not healthy, we didn’t quite fully accept that we had put ourselves into the position we were in and were facing loosing our daughter.
During the 12 week assessment we were able to complete different courses and “sessions” on multiple topics that helped us be the parents that we are today! We were also able to access Relate Counselling which helped us understand each other better.
Supervision levels for us started off very high due to concerns social services had, but after proving ourselves they gradually reduced and by the end of the assessment the supervision levels were similar to what they would be at home.
Our biggest regret is looking at reviews online and painting a negative picture in our heads of the place before we even arrived, because honestly it isn’t bad at all. Of course we wanted to be in our own home but being at Bonner House made it possible for all 3 of us to go home together!
Bonner House was our last chance of going home with our baby, and with all the support and guidance from our Team Case Manager, Link Workers and all the other staff-we all left together, we have been home for 3 months and the ICO is being discharged next month!
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I enjoyed my Assessment and found the staff to be helpful and supportive during my time at D/L. Things were explained clearly to me and staff showed me the local amenities such as parks and shops that I would be able to use during my stay. I didn’t know what to expect but I gained up to date knowledge in a supportive environment to help me care for my baby. Dudley lodge has good facilities and I always enjoyed spending time in the play room and the garden with my baby.
If I had to offer any advice to someone about to come to Dudley lodge for an Assessment I would tell them to try to listen to the staff because they are here to help. It’s not a criticism and you could learn so much.
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Parent's Comments
"We found coming here hard but once we got to know staff we were so happy that this was a good choice for us. We felt welcomed by all the staff members. We would definitely recommend Bonner House." (A Bonner House parent)
"Thank you and to the staff for not judging me and just getting to know me. I learnt so much from you, so thank you for taking the time out to teach me. I will definitely keep in touch with you all, you all are a big part of our lives and I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to work with you all. We will miss you." (A Dudley Lodge Parent)
Being at Bonner House or Dudley Lodge
What happens day to day?
Each day, staff are there to support you and your child. You’ll take part in everyday sessions and activities that are designed to help build your confidence as a parent, not to catch you out.
A big part of this is playtime and interaction. This helps strengthen your bond with your child and shows how you respond to them. Not every parent has money for toys, and that’s completely okay. Simple interaction, talking, playing, and being present matters far more than what you can buy.
What are sessions?
Sessions are a chance to learn, grow, and improve your skills as a parent. Some sessions may involve talking about personal topics, and that can feel uncomfortable at first. If you find it hard to open up, that’s okay. You won’t be judged. Your past is your past, and the focus is on where you are now and what support you need.
Sessions can also be adapted to suit you. For example, one session was changed to use Disney characters to help explain different types of risks. That made it more enjoyable and much easier to understand. If something isn’t working for you, it’s okay to speak up.
Activities with your child – day to day care
While you’re here, you’ll be doing the everyday care your child needs, with support if needed. This can include:
- Feeding, by bottle or other methods, and winding or burping
- Nappy changes
- Sterilising equipment
- Basic interaction and bonding
- Bathing and top and tail
- Going for walks or shopping trips
These are normal parenting tasks, and staff understand that everyone learns at a different pace.
Feeling nervous or overwhelmed
It’s very normal to feel nervous when staff are observing you. That can feel overwhelming. Try to remember they are not there to judge you. Their role is to advise, guide, and support you as much as they can.
It’s okay to worry. Not every baby is easy. Some babies are more unsettled, more demanding, or just have tricky days. That doesn’t mean you’re doing a bad job.
The most important thing is to focus on your own assessment. Try not to compare yourself to others or worry about what’s happening with anyone else. Every parent’s journey is different.
While you’re here, you’ll have access to our private Parent’s Zone on the website. It’s a simple hub with helpful information you may need during your assessment, including childcare and wellbeing links, guides and videos to support you. You’ll be given access to the Parent’s Zone when you arrive.