At first I didn't know I was going to an assessment centre, there was a communication issue with my community social workers, but I didn't really know what questions to ask. I was shocked when I first arrived because there were men there when I thought we were going to a mother and baby place.
Did you feel safe when you arrived?
Yes I did, I felt really safe. I was scared but only because the whole situation had changed quickly and it felt like a big change. But that's not necessarily a bad thing.
My flat was cosy and really well kept, it felt like home from home and the bed was so comfortable I got a really good night’s sleep. The staff were friendly and I could talk to any of them; it didn’t feel intrusive at all.
How do you feel that the centre helped you and your family?
I think that neither of us would be here if we hadn’t had everybody supporting us. It’s wonderful here, truly life changing. I felt reassured and staff helped me see that the relationship I was in before was so negative. The feedback they gave was positive and done in an understanding and helpful way. I came here and learnt what life should be like and that people say nice things, it’s lovely and it helps build your confidence. The staff are gentle and don’t try and take over. That positive extra support makes such a big difference.
Were there any memorable days or milestones?
A day that stands out was early on when I realised that staff were so open and honest and only wanted the best for me and weren’t there to judge me. The trips out of the centre that staff organised were lovely too. Memorable ones were to Hoar Park Farm, and a trip to visit Santa where we all walked to it together. My baby’s first Christmas was spent at the centre and that was so special too!
Did you have any difficult days, were there any challenges or obstacles?
No not really. It’s quite difficult when you first arrive because they're assessing your basic care and having somebody around you all the time was quite stressful. But then you realise that they’re there to make sure that you are alright and the babies are OK, and that you know what you're doing. The staff have got your back, and you know you can listen to the advice and guidance and then have a choice in any decisions – you feel like you’ve got a voice.
Have you noticed to any changes for you and your family?
A family member noticed it more, she was shocked how I looked when I first arrived but she was so grateful that we were still alive and that we were somewhere safe. I really wasn’t myself when I first came but she can really see a big difference now.
How do you feel about leaving the centre?
I’ve loved it here and I’m sad to leave people who have been such an important part of my life. I’ll definitely come back and visit often. I’m looking forward to the future though and being independent again. I feel confident that the things I’ve learned here, I can pass onto my children.
Any advice for families coming to stay at Dudley Lodge?
Trust the people and just trust the process - and just do it. People are not against you, they’re only there to help.
I think people need to realise they're not there to take your babies away, they’re there for you to keep your babies. They’re there to enable you to be the best parent you can be.
I also tell other residents that when they get stressed they can just go and ask for a bit of support and the staff will always listen and make time for you.